Your Place, Not Mine

Your Place, Not Mine

My heart is beating so fast and hard that I can barely keep from exploding. I have just come from visiting a church. Every time I step into a church building filled with this sort of “spiritual-backwardness” I feel like the Spirit of God within me pushes so hard against my soul that my very physical being actually moves. Is this possible? Can I be interpreting that the Spirit of God is fed up with His churches and their “slow down…put some rules in place…let’s build a program first” approaches to worship, discipleship, and service? I would love to leave a church building feeling invigorated, assured, renewed, and challenged in the fight for the Kingdom of God. Rather than just frustrated at the lack of progress (or even regression) that is being accomplished within those walls in the name of the Lord I serve.

I serve Jesus Christ…the absolute Son of the Living God. He was crucified and is self-risen…winning once and for all, the battle over death and death’s keeper. He was sacrificed for me. He was…He is…the only one that was ever worthy of the task. Just as importantly… He was willing. Yes, I know, I am a strange sort of individual. And maybe, I am not as smart as the average person of faith and therefore I often-times seem to view things quite differently. But, then again, neither Jesus nor His Father have ever presented themselves to me in the sort of “sit on your hands…wait while whining” type personages that so many of the people in local churches today seem to be modeling their lives after. So, if the people whom I have met at churches are really following the same Lord as I, how is it that they act and think and seem to want things so opposite of the things that my heart desires?

I am frustrated by this confusing opposition. Now… I have warned you that I am a strange sort…which, just might be some sort of evidence that the confusing opposition is of my flesh side and not of my spiritual. But what I feel I know is that the real and living Spirit of God in me sometimes seems to be at odds with those around me…who also profess to be working toward the goals of Christ. Yes, these people irritate me, but my frustration comes from the uncertainty which this obvious conflict unveils. Am I wrong about the Spirit of God in me? Either way the results would indicate that it is me, and not the professing others, that is wrong.

Several years ago I stated almost the same question to a friend of mine. His response to me was simply that I “must not have ever been saved correctly”. He was dead serious and since I admired the man, this statement sent me into a whirlwind of confusion and doubt. I spent the better part of over a year searching and studying and clinging. The result of crawling through this painful valley of doubt was God giving me a uniquely steadfast clarification of salvation and sanctification. My studies of complicated wording and doctrine, and my spiritual understanding of the Living Word were peacefully enlightening.

In testimony I have been asked if I really believe that God is the one who put me through that. Well…whether God put me through It, or simply allowed it (knowing that I would come out on the other side a more refined Believer)…or, satan intended the whole situation for bad and God turned it around for good…ends in the same victorious result. The diamond of my soul has fewer coal blemishes in its depth. My discovery is that there is no way to be incorrectly saved or half saved. Since it is a choice…you do or you do not choose to believe. You are…or you are not saved. I chose…and I am simply saved, and I am certain.

So you see, I am NOT wrong about the Spirit of God that lives in me. He knows me and I know Him. That confidence has come from a long period of tests and measures. I have become very familiar with His voice of approval…and probably even more familiar with His voice of redirection. I can distinguish my voice from His more clearly than I have ever been able to. Why?...Because of the longevity of our relationship and the depth of my desire for His truth. So, my frustration regarding current churches today is most certainly in harmony with the Lord’s frustration of processes and practices within His churches.

But then how Lord? How do I approach a situation or person and help to create the change You desire without damaging your very weakened church any further. Some of you might be offended at my sharp words, but can any of you evaluate the totality of local churches today and honestly say that they are effective? So let’s concentrate on this. Although weak, it lives. So my thought is; since the church is still only one small vein (blood and life source) away from the Church…His Church…in my opinion, it might be self-opposing, even Christ-opposing to harm it. Yet…

Yet there might be some evidence for total destruction. Years ago I attended a church which elected to put engraved signs on the doors of the Sanctuary which stated, “For convenience of those who are practicing for the next service, no one is allowed in the sanctuary until 5 minutes before the worship service…thank you for your consideration.” At least they were polite. And when things are presented in such a polite way…they almost seem reasonable. However, if we were to ask the hurting and dying world around us about what that engraved sign really said to them about that specific church, the vein of The Church, and His Sanctuary…I wonder how “reasonable” they would say it seemed.

Reasonable also had no apparent common sense when a similar decision was made. I am completely confused at how any person… let alone a group of voting individuals…let alone a group of Christ conscious leaders in a church could come up with such a ridiculous plan. Surely, I thought, I must have just misunderstood. I know I did not see the whole evolution of discussion. However, I did see the result. We were visiting a church after our family moved to a new city. Its church doctrine had been approved by my husband and I, the web page looked great, several programs were advertised that looked very appealing, and we were excited about the potential of both the student ministries group and the children’s ministries group…until we actually visited.

Upon arrival we were greeted by a very lovely couple who helped to “check –in” our children and point us in the direction of classes. It felt so secure and yet friendly. It was a very large church in a very large city. And since we had come from a very small town…the claim ticket in my hand (that was the tear off part of the bracelet my child had on his wrist) seemed both very strange and very…very…comforting. The nice couple said that they would take our student teens up and across campus to where that group met while we followed the path down a short simple hall to drop our younger kids off at their individual classrooms. Simple…Right?

Did I mention that we had arrived just five minutes before Sunday School class time (I told you we were used to a small church) and by the time we had hung our coats, met the door greeter, been ushered across the building to the children’s check-in counter….briefly visited with the volunteers standing behind the desk about the ages of our kids as polite introductions were handed all around…well, now we saw that all the classroom doors were closing and we felt late.

Hurriedly we rushed our children’s little feet down the hall and knocked on the door. A woman quickly opened the door and looking very “un-welcoming” said that we would need to return to the check-in counter. I assured her that our children had on their appropriate visitor bracelets, but she didn’t seem to care. She whispered very loudly that we would have to return to the children’s check-in counter because we “were tardy”. So, we did. We made the short trip back down the hall while our kids asked questions of “why can’t we go to Sunday school?” These were questions that we could not answer. So, we stood at the un-manned counter. It was un-manned because the volunteers who had taken our teens across campus had not yet returned.

About five minutes later, a young woman crossed our path dragging her child in to an area which was sort of behind the desk we were standing at. As she passed she uttered a confusing statement. She said, “We’re late too. He’s getting used to not going to Sunday school.” I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. Obviously she didn’t see the “visitor…therefore we have no knowledge of your rules…bracelets” which my children were wearing. My husband and I looked at each other for some sort of clue as the woman seated her son on the floor and then walked away to class. I felt like yelling…”Hey, you didn’t check him in and get a security bracelet.” But then, I heard my husband calling after her. He said, “Can you tell us what to do, or send someone to help us at this desk?” “Good thinking, Honey”, I thought…but still…what happened to the whole security system thing and why in the world did she just leave him sitting there? I no longer felt comfortable about my small children in the big church.

A few minutes later a young, nicely dressed, man made his way to the entrance of the hall that housed the check-in counter. He introduced himself as the Children’s Minister. He asked if we were late, and then in the same breath told us that they had a policy for the Sunday school hour regarding tardiness. He gently told us that when children are late to the Sunday school hour they are not allowed into the classrooms but instead are held at a location where they can sit and color until the beginning of the next session. This next session would be “Children’s Church”. He also assured us that someone would come along in a few minutes to watch these “tardy” children and would be glad to move them to the next session for us. This, he said, would be of great assistance to us because…adults, tardy or not, could attend Sunday school. Honestly, my mind could not grasp what he was saying…and by the tears running down my youngest daughter’s face…the only thing she understood from his words was that she…we…had done something very, very wrong.

My eyes hide no secrets. In fact, often times I look down when I am trying to conceal something because my eyes always talk before I do. I have always hated that about them. But on the other hand…very few people have trouble understanding me (no matter what language they speak) because my eyes seem to be universe-lingual. Well my eyes were definitely tell-tale that morning and the more I stared at the man in front of me, the more intense and descriptive he seemed to become. He was trying, with real passion, to explain to my husband and I, why his policy was a good and valid rule.

He went through a list of reasons why such a rule was beneficial. He started off by saying that schedules serve a purpose and that the volunteers who teach Sunday school put countless hours into preparation for the kids and the lessons. He said we must respect the time that they have sacrificed and that it is best for kids to learn the repercussions of their choice to be tardy…while they are still young. My mind began to spin out of control.

While I was trying to get a grip on all these things and still be polite, something within me was screaming. It wanted to know if he possibly thought that my children were in charge of our family. If they were the ones that left later than they should have, took longer to park than expected, or spent too much time shaking hands with the greeters at the door? My eyes widened and my mind leaned forward so that it could be sure of what was being explained. He continued by quoting, “that research had shown that when introducing and leading children to the Lord, it takes a solid 20 minutes of uninterrupted teaching”. There was absolutely no place for my mind to whirl now…so it just came to a stop.

I could not think. I could not take in any more information. My heart took over and I could feel not only the temperature in my face increasing but I could also feel the hand of my husband (which was in my hand) tightening. I looked up at my husband’s clinching teeth just as the young minister began his greatest argument…which he presented like a huge conquering statement that was to be resolute evidence to our questioning eyes. He said that the children were not allowed in Sunday school when they were tardy simply because the gospel was being presented today and it was just too important to be interrupted.

The words spewed from my mouth skipping my brain because it was still in shut-down mode. My heart was racing so fast that it couldn’t have spoken in clarity if it had wanted to. This was what was happening on the inside of me. Somehow the outside of me was preforming in a peaceful and serene way. I saw myself and heard myself in passionately calm phrases address the young man. It started with “the living words of the gospel is indefinably powerful and cannot possibly be interrupted” and followed with a brief statement on priorities which concluded in “which is why we must follow the Lord Jesus Christ’s example of absolute grace.” I learned a lot from the spoken words that day…about people, and churches, about me and about the overcoming Spirit of God within me.

I would love to tell you that this is the only story of ridiculous policy and process that I have experienced in my years of church attendance. But, you know for yourself that it is not. I am very certain that you have laid away a story or two of just such nonsense.

The reason for my frustration today is yet another such story. So recent, that today it has heated my temper, reddened my face, and taken me straight to the Word and meditation in Christ; my problem solver. Am I suggesting that churches run without rules? No, in fact I am a lover of rules and policies and forms and documents and formulas and anything that organizes chaos. Many who know me would call me an organizational freak. Yet, I have learned that there is no purpose at all in organizing chaos if I am counterproductive to my root purpose.

Remember when I told you that you are probably smarter and wiser than me? Well…who in the world takes a life-time to learn that you can defeat yourself of the very thing you are working towards? Me! I did. In fact, I am still learning this. I have doubted my salvation, I have doubted my faith. I have searched for answers so intensely that confusion was the only result. I have studied and memorized the Word without depth of knowledge or understanding. I have looked for Christ so hard that I have not been able to see Him standing in front of me. I have worked so hard to grow the church that I have injured the Church.

But, I have learned.

My frustration today in the ridiculous processes and slow moving systems of the churches will not become a tool of destruction for satan to use towards Christ’s Church. I understand that the frustration I feel is valid. I have heard my own stories…I know that I identify with Christ in this. But, I must behave like Christ in this!

My love for His people must be as tolerant as my love for the lost. Believers are just people. And, just as the Spirit of Christ grows and changes me, He is also growing and changing them. I want to scream sense at those who vote for such strange policies and I surely want to light a fire under those who move so….so….so….slowly. But it is not I but Christ in me, which must react.

Oh God!
Make me tolerant of Your tolerances.
Make me opinionated of Your opinions.
Let me teach where I can…and stand silent when I cannot.
Let me speak only Your words…for this is Your place…not mine.

In obedience
Rhonda D Loucks

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